Friday, March 20, 2009

Joke of the Day

Add your joke ! Keep it clean...
(Label it "Joke~" or give it a title to separate it from the comments)
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5 comments:

  1. American FirstMarch 20, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.

    But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

    So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go... I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, and I gave it to them.

    I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

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  2. A Conservative TexanMarch 21, 2009 at 9:20 AM

    That was hilarious - and right on! "You voted for change - here you go - now try to live on it!" :)

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  3. American FirstMarch 21, 2009 at 8:36 PM

    JOKE~
    I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

    Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

    She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed.

    'Wow...what a worthy goal!' and added, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

    She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

    I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party!' And her parents still aren't speaking to me. RH

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  4. LibertyGrrrlMarch 21, 2009 at 10:38 PM

    LOL! Love this section of the blog!

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  5. American FirstMarch 22, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

    -Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
    -White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
    -Spotted Owl plague threatens Northwestern United States crops and livestock.
    -Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
    -Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
    -Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
    -France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
    -Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
    -George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
    -Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
    -85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
    -Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
    -Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.
    -Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.
    -Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
    -Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
    -Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
    -Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
    -New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
    -IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
    -Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

    I LOVE This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me! JW

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